Day 1: See previous, oh-so-overly-dramatic post.
Day 2: Found another bottle of wine on our porch. Hello, neighbors! I love you!
Day 3: Try to jam lawn ornament into ground. It refuses and instead pops up and smacks me on the eye. Spend hours holding washcloth full of ice cubes to eye. Say things like, "Boy, this move is going GREAT!" and other such sarcastic witticisms. Get black eye.
Day 4: Time drive to downtown, which equals about eight minutes. Later, go for walk around neighborhood. Everyone says hey. Watch, miraculously, as feeling of joy spreads over body. I love moving! Everything is an adventure!
Day 5: Begin daily fights with cable and Internet provider who treat hooking up our service as if they are building the Great Pyramid of Giza or the Hanging Gardens of Babylon. Relearn that Everyone. In. Customer. Service. Lies. The first commandment of cable/Internet customer service handbook: Lie to get people off the phone.
Day 6: Unpack all day long. Dig hole in neighbor's yard to put up mailboxes. She wasn't happy. Give peace offering of bags of daffodil and crocus bulbs.
Day 7: Nearly have a coronary when I discover I STILL DO NOT HAVE MY E-MAIL ADDRESS. What does it take, BellSouth, now AT&T? A letter written in blood? A nuclear missile pointed at your headquarters? It may seem small, but this is my business, people! Six hours later, get e-mail address. Proceed to ignore e-mails.
Day 8: Instead of going to grocery store, eat at seriously nasty barbecue joint in neighborhood. Seriously. Ugh. Feel sick all night.
Day 9: Go to local Italian restaurant because I still haven't gone to the grocery store. Eat the most delicious butternut squash soup while talking with the waitress about the car that drove over the ledge next to the parking lot. Watch as the Hershey Kiss Mobile pulls into said parking lot. Listen in on conversations the two women driving the mobile have with other diners. One orders friend zucchini because she is "a zucchini freak." We and they ooh and aahh over food because it is so so so good. Leave after tow-truck comes and rescues the car that drove over the ledge. Everyone yells out "Have a nice night!" as we leave. A Hershey Kiss woman follows us out, opens up a compartment on the mobile, hands us handfuls of kisses. Pat and I high-five each other as we drive away. West Asheville rocks!
Day 10: Sit on porch in the sun updating address book. Feel all the love in the world with this light on me, warm and comforting. Neighbor walks buy, whistling the theme to Andy Griffith. Obsess that it was a slight directed at me. Our neighbors hate us. Love disappears.
Day 11: I don't know where our current post office is and I don't know what gas station to go to. It's like choosing a date for the prom, discovering the post office and local gas station. Drive to Swannanoa to meet friend at diner. Go to the post office and gas station in Swannanoa, my old prom dates.
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